Tree's Thoughts
A Tough But Good Day.
|
|
It's all quiet here now. Al has gone to bed and I have time to sit and collect my thoughts. Of course, all of my thoughts are about family because the one who held and shaped us, is gone. Mom passed away today, November 10, 2008 at 2:00 this afternoon.
We all knew that she was going and yesterday morning at 5:30 a.m., we began taking turns, gathering around her. Her breathing was laboured and she could not speak much. She slipped in and out of her dreams as we held her hand, talked to her and gave her sips of water.
Her grandsons went out and built the sacred fire at which her granddaughter gave the opening address in both the Mohawk and the English languages. The ceremonial tobacco was burnt and we kept that fire going all that day and all through the night. Many people came to visit, to speak and to sing in her Native language. Nothing could have been more appropriate since she was the one who brought the language back to the people after so many had forgotten, or never knew it. On our Mohawk Territory the stop signs read "tenhsa ne" instead of "stop" and mom was one of the people who made that happen. None of us will ever be able to see one of those signs without thinking of her.
At 3:00 this morning she began every once in a while, to open her eyes and laugh and mumble something that sounded as if she were greeting people that we could not see. Throughout the day she seemed to be trying to hang on and then shortly after one of her dear old friends came by, she passed on.
I think one of the people she was greeting was her sister, my aunt Nellie, who passed on eight years ago. After all, they shared the same birthday, they both had sons born on their birthdays so I suppose it was fated that the two of them should also die on the same day. Needless to say, their two families grew up always staying close, no matter how far apart we lived.
After Mom passed on, many of us gathered at the sacred fire where we again burned the ceremonial tobacco and offered our prayers and thanks to the Creator. My goddaughter again gave the closing address in both languages and when she was done, a log rolled out of the fire and the fire was done.
The women closest to mom gathered in her room to sing mom away on her journey while her body was washed and prepared for the funeral home to take. When we were done, mom's home care nurse called them to come and while they wheeled her out we followed in a procession behind her, still singing the Native Seed songs.
We all stayed at her house for a while after that, visiting and sharing our stories of her. A good friend and neighbour brought over a huge pot of stew and others brought bread, cake and in sharing this fantastic feast we were able to share the burden of grief which made it much less.
So although this has been one of the hardest days of life to get through, it has also been a good day. Of course there is grief, we love her and will miss her, but there is also lightness in knowing that she no longer suffers. She had been so very ill for such a long time and now her pain is gone and she is home with her mother and my dad and her sisters and brothers. It has also been a good day because of the support and love that was shown by (and to) each and every person who was there. Exactly as mom would want.
Now all that remains to be done is arrange a funeral service that can accommodate over a thousand people. There are 2,500 people on this territory and I think my mom knew or was related to every single one of them! And I have no idea how many will be coming from off-rez. I just give thanks for our supportive community, our neighbours and for my family's help with this!
Categories: None
