Tree's Thoughts
The Tenth Day Feast Ceremony
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Yesterday we held my mom's Tenth Day Feast Ceremony.
This is done for people to have closure on the tenth day after a loved one has died. It is torture for neat freaks. It is usually done at the place where that person has passed on. For my mom it was in her home.
First we went out to the sacred fire where we again burned the ceremonial tobacco and invited Mom's spirit to join in the feast with us.
Before entering the house, the children were marked either on the hand or the forehead with ashes from burnt hickory. Children are considered to have pure spirits. When a person passes over, their spirits also become pure. The marking was done to differentiate their spirits from that of Mom's so that when Mom's guide came for her, the spirits of the children would not be taken too. The mark on them would ground them to this world.
After entering the house the doors were locked and no one would be allowed to enter or to leave until the end of the feast. Then everyone got out their feast baskets. These are just baskets that contain a dinner plate, a bread plate, a bowl, a cup, cutlery and a napkin. A place was set at the table for Mom and her chair drawn up to it.
The feast itself consists of foods prepared that day by each participant and were the foods that Mom most enjoyed during her earthly time. No salt can be used in the preparation of these foods but any other spices are acceptable. The people attending the feast must eat ALL of the food that was brought for this feast.
Once everyone had their places set, the youngest able females do the serving. This got quite hilarious as my niece, Tsikenonnewen (Butterfly), who is only 4 years old, was one of our servers. This is where the torture for the neat freaks comes in. Anything spilled is NOT to be picked up. No cleaning or work is to be done until the day after a feast. With 10 children and 17 adults trying to balance plates on their laps (not enough room at the table), the floor and carpet really took a beating!
The servers began by putting food first on Mom's plate and then going around the table again and again, serving everyone else until the dish they were serving from was empty. Then, they would return to the kitchen to bring out another dish of something or other. The servers also put food on their own plates but do not eat until they are done serving the others.
During the feasting there is talk and reminiscing. No tears, this is a joyful celebration of the life we had with Mom. Good food, good company and lots of laughter.
Our menu included: chef salad, hot green bean salad, mashed potatoes, hamburg gravy, fried pickerel, turkey, cranberries, scones, corn bread, white bread, rice pudding, strawberries, strawberry trifle and strawberry drink.
Strawberries figure prominently in our culture because it is considered to be a food, a cosmetic and a medicine and is believed to be the first plant given to us by the Creator. As a medicine, strawberry drink will cool a fever and fresh mashed strawberries has healing properties for cuts, scrapes, burns and rashes.
When everyone was done eating, Mom was told that we are at ease with her passing, that she was free of any earthly worries, that we had taken care of her earthy remains and unfinished business to the best of our ability and she was thanked for all she had done while she was here. She was told that she was now free to move on and to do whatever it was that she must now do.
Those of us with the nicotine habit were allowed to go to the smoking area (still staying within the locked area) but not until we had also left a cigarette for Mom beside her plate. Mom loved that because she was a smoker too.
After that everyone received something of Mom's as a gift and a memento of her. Once the gifts were given out, the doors were unlocked and we were done.
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